School holidays can be a mixed blessing for parents, bringing a whirlwind of emotions. You might feel pure delight and contentment, knowing it's a perfect time to connect with your children without the usual school and extracurricular activity demands. On the flip side, you could also feel anxious about keeping them entertained or worried about their behaviour during days out. There is often guilt, too, as you juggle working from home with keeping your child constructively occupied, and compare notes with other families.
Amid all the hustle and bustle, it’s crucial to pause and take stock and make sure to care for yourself during the school holidays. You matter!
Read on for our 10 top tips for feeling better this Summer holiday...
1. Fill Your Cup
Try to have regular opportunities to ‘fill your cup’. Whether it is ensuring the children are taken care of so that you can take an exercise class, waking early to spend some time by yourself doing something you enjoy such as savouring a cup of tea in silence, reading a magazine. Or enjoying a nice hot bath once the children are in bed, catching up on a TV show or podcast. Whatever it is, factor it into your plans during this summer holiday period.
2. Plan Ahead
Planning ahead will help you to feel organised, and reduce stress, contributing to a calmer family atmosphere. Not only will it help make outings go well, but also the days spent at home. Organise a flexible timetable, with a balance of physical activities, focussed play, time outdoors and quiet time. Then take each day as it comes.
Children are perceptive and notice the energy and atmosphere around them. If you are feeling stressed and overwhelmed, they will be too. Alleviate this by setting realistic expectations and not spreading yourself too thin by cramming in too much or trying to please everyone. Do what works best for you and your family.
3. Support Your Child
If your child feels dysregulated by the change of routine, support them by sharing what’s ahead. It can help children to know what will be the same as well as what will change.
For example:
“Tomorrow, after breakfast we will visit the museum, then return home for dinner, followed by bathtime with your special bubbles and your favourite story at bedtime.”
Display the activities on a calendar or a wall chart. Involving your children in the planning will give them a sense of being a valued member of the team, - they may want to create a poster, create a scrap book, mark the day off on the calendar or suggest activities to add to a stay-at-home/rainy day box.
4. Give Choices
Give your children limited choices to help them to feel in control. Which in turn will help reduce frustration, irritability. This also helps promote responsibility, plus builds their resilience and trust in their instincts. Younger children will need simple decisions like choosing between two snacks or activities, which will empower them without overwhelming them.
5. Connect Daily
Connect with your child every day. Your emotional involvement is key. All your children want to do is spend time with you, regardless of the activity, as long as you are doing it together. When you are with your children, be fully present. Enjoy your time together without feeling guilty about work or anything else.
Try to factor in 1-1 time with each child every day. Cuddles peppered throughout the day will help your child to feel secure and help you both to decompress. Being warm and affectionate is hugely important; it helps children feel valued, builds self-esteem and social skills.
6. Activity Ideas
There are plenty of great activity ideas on the internet to keep your children entertained over the holidays. Lessen cost concerns by using the resources you already have at home. Turn everyday activities into something fun. E.g. role play and pretend you are running a hotel! - Let your children help out with preparing meals, setting the table, organising laundry, making the bed.
Mood Boosting Activities
Here are some positive mood boosting activities that will increase the happy hormones for you and your child:
Serotonin (Happiness and mood) Being outside in nature and enjoying the sunshine (remember suncream), simple things such as gardening, bug or flower hunting, looking for shapes in the clouds… |
Dopamine (motivation and reward) Getting enough sleep, listening to music, preparing, and eating a healthy meal, meditation, trying something new, doing something creative such as drawing, painting, craft work, construction play, playing an instrument, achieving a goal (even a small one)… |
Oxytocin (Love and Empathy) Using praise, showing gratitude, holding hands, having a cuddle, stroking an animal, spend time with friends and family, doing something nice for someone (like drawing a picture or baking a cake for someone)… |
Endorphins (Stress and Pain Relief) Physical activity, dancing, exercising, walking, running, such as playing outside, riding a bike, scooter, playing on the trampoline, watching a movie (especially a funny one, which will have you both in fits of laughter), games like hide and seek, treasure hunt, tickling... |
7. Praise and Positivity
Praising your child benefits them and raises your dopamine levels, making you feel good too. The summer holidays offer many opportunities to praise and coach your child in social situations, persistence and effort.
Examples:
“Well done for waiting patiently for the swing.”
“You are sharing your toys nicely, how amazing!”
“Wow, you are working so hard to create a wonderful picture for Grandma.”
Remember to praise other adults and yourself too! We all feel good for a little praise!
8. Staying Calm
Your children will benefit if you are happy and calm. Techniques like deep breathing and using positive thoughts can help manage difficult behaviour. Staying calm helps you maintain perspective and allows you to respond to your child with empathy rather than react with irritation.
Be a detective and think about the occasions when your child may need support managing their behaviour. – E.g. Do you need to put your children’s favourite toys in a ‘special box’ for a couple of hours while their young cousin comes to play? Do you need to provide healthy protein snack or resources such as small toys, book or the screen to keep them occupied on a long journey? Do you need to use games such as ‘Eye Spy’, ‘The Alphabet game’, or 5,4,3,2,1 Grounding Technique’ to play while you are waiting in a long queue? Is your child having a meltdown because they are overstimulated, tired, bored or hungry? Do they just need some comfort from you?
9. Maintain Boundaries
Aim to maintain your boundaries during the holidays but understand that various factors can affect your child's behaviour. Focus on what you can control and let go of what you can't. Recognise your triggers and plan to manage them accordingly. Conserve your energy by picking your battles—does it really matter if your child wears odd socks to Grandma’s?
10. Seek Help When Needed
Remember, it's perfectly fine to ask for help. Sometimes, you might need a little space to reset. If you are feeling overwhelmed or struggling to cope, do not hesitate to share your feelings and seek support. Talk to your partner, a family member, friend, or seek assistance from your doctor, local children’s centre, or from an online community. You're not alone—many parents find themselves in similar situations. Reaching out is a sign of strength, not weakness.
Enjoy the School holidays and remember that your well-being is just as important as your child’s. Taking care of yourself allows you to be the best parent you can be!
Did you know?
You can help your child thrive by spending 10-15 minutes a day mastering the skills in the Parenting Matters online course.
These proven strategies, based on the latest scientific evidence, have already helped hundreds of thousands of parents like you, and you can start applying them straight from your phone.
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Melissa Whitington is a Parenting Coach at Parenting Matters